disengage.ca a quest for the technomadic lifestyle

28Jan/115

Homeless!

my (ex-) house in Vancouver

goodbye, little house. maybe I'll miss you.

Today is the closing date for the sale of my house in Vancouver.

Yesterday I signed the last of the documents with the notary public and dropped off the last of the keys with the realtor, and apparently Monday I should see the mortgage accounts disappear from my web banking.

The sale represents both the severing of my biggest physical tie to the sedentary world and the un-shouldering of the single largest source of stress in my my life.  My priorities and goals have changed, and while I know that real estate in Vancouver is a sound financial investment in the longer term, I also know that I'm not interested in settling down into a life on land right now. As long as I owned a property I would always have to be a landlord, something that I am neither good at nor enjoy.

The emotional fallout from the sale has been slow to manifest - the house was the last relic of a failed relationship and a terrible downward spiral through the second half of my twenties; a dream that, once achieved, proved to be a huge disappointment.  I am incredibly thankful that I was lucky enough to learn reasonably early the folly in living one's life by others' ideas of success.

my old studio

the thing I'll miss most: my techno studio

At age twenty-eight, I figured I had won the game - I had a cute, successful fiancée, a great, high-paying job and a gorgeous home studio in my own house.  I literally had the proverbial white picket fence!  By all conventional logic, I should have been on top of the world, but instead I was falling deeper and deeper into depression. My relationship was failing and I was drinking far too much. I was rapidly becoming overweight and unhealthy.  I was miserable at my job, and it showed in my work. Still, when I stepped back and looked at my life, I couldn't see anything wrong with it! My ambition hit an all-time low - if the game is won, why bother continuing to play?

Fortunately that relationship fell apart in early 2007, and in the very same month the company I worked for was purchased and dismantled by the new owners.  We received severance packages and pink slips and I watched, shellshocked, as my world crumbled around me.  I spent the next few months fumbling about aimlessly, rented out the upper half the house and moved into the basement, and about a year later I started this blog.

onward, technomad

onward, technomad.

The nearly four years since the collapse of that world has been a period of intense personal growth and discovery, of purging and change, much of which has been documented here.  The house was the last reminder of the former life, and selling it has been both exhilarating and terrifying - not only was it a memento and an investment, but also a safety net should this crazy living-on-a-boat adventure turn sour!  I think I've proven to myself over the past two years the value in trusting my instincts and following my dreams, and I have no intention of stopping now.

As it turns out, personal happiness has very little to do with the ideas portrayed in the movies - everyone knows that once the prince rescues the princess and carries her off into the sunset on horseback, they live "happily ever after".  So why wasn't my 'success' a source of unending joy? Life is defined by struggle, by working toward goals - but when all of those goals are achieved, then what? How many women look as much forward to the six months following their wedding as they do to the wedding itself? What was Ward Cleaver really thinking?

In the past four years I've learned many lessons about the pursuit of happiness. I've learned to actively appreciate beauty, and that the time and energy spent to experience fleeting moments of intense beauty is not wasted. I've learned that while acquiring possessions stimulates a similar part of the mind, real happiness doesn't require anything material. Most of all though, I've learned that happiness is subjective to each person individually, and that it is the sum of emotion and experience. For me, happiness is a combination of freedom, beauty and opportunity.

So! It is official. Apart from six tupperware bins in a storage locker and music equipment and furniture "stored" with friends and family, I have severed my physical ties to the land.

As for what's next... that post will come soon.

18Jan/111

January is a Whirlwind

I'm realizing that I'm slipping into the old habit of not writing, which is especially irritating given that it was one of my unwritten (see?  argh.) New Years Resolutions.  For posterity, the list - I might as well get these down now, to help break the cycle:

  1. write more,
  2. develop and trust my emotions,
  3. procrastinate less (see #1), and
  4. seize any opportunity to gain new skills.

The first of the four is pretty obviously failing so far, but that is because #4 has been taking up a lot of my time.  I've become involved with the Vancouver chapter of the Bluewater Cruising Association, a support network for offshore sailors who are either planning to head off into the great blue yonder, who are currently out there living the dream, or who have "been there, done that" and returned to tell the tale.

Miya with sparklers

Miya on New Year's Eve

So far, I've been mostly taking advantage of the education offered through the BCA - I've enrolled in two classes, one for offshore meteorology and another for ham radio operations and licensing.  Both classes are proving to be well worth the time and money spent - the more I learn about ham radio, the more it interests me!  The world of amateur radio - and more specifically, 'packet radio', or computer networking over the airwaves - has a distinctive feel to it so far, one that strongly reminds me of learning about the world of modems and dial-up bulletin board systems, back before the internet gained popularity.

Furthermore, my day job has increased in responsibility, so now I am working very nearly full-time hours during the week.  Part of me is tickled to spend my days working in cloud computing and my nights learning how to interpret cloud formations!  Still, with full-time hours and courses five days per week, I'm not left with much free time to socialize.

Miya sadly had to move back to Seattle this week - her day job was only willing to allow her to work remotely for two months, and those two months flew by faster than either of us expected.  Given that I spent a lot of time paring down my possessions and footprint to make room for a second human aboard the Tie Fighter, her moving off has left the boat feeling somewhat cavernous and empty.  We'll still be together moving forward, with her moving back onto the boat in a few months, but that's a subject that could (and will) make an entire posting itself.

31Dec/102

What I Did On My Summer Vacation – August Edition

Given that we're a few hours away from 2011, I guess I should probably clear this posting out of my 'drafts' folder!  This is the third and last installment of the 'Summer Vacation' blog series; the series of photos showing the brutal amount of work done to Tie Fighter over the summer months.

If by some chance you missed the June and July editions, I recommend you read those first.  Without further ado:

up on the hard, repairs proceeding

up on the hard, repairs proceeding

With the sanding finally finished, it was time to re-tape the hull and apply the primer paint. A darker shade of gray paint was chosen, because while white paint reflects the visible spectrum of light and doesn't absorb heat, it still allows ultraviolet light to pass through which will eventually destroy the fiberglass.  The pigment in the gray primer absorbs the UV light, protecting the fiberglass underneath.

In this photo you can also see the patched hole in the hull near the main bow, where I removed and replaced the oddball old, seized 2" ball valve for the head output with a proper 1.5" stainless valve.  While I had her out of the water I replaced all of the old ball valves with new stainless valves, and removed and sealed up two that weren't used anymore... the handle on one of those ball valves had rusted completely off and the outlet had been capped off with a copper pipe cap.  I have no idea what that through-hull was for originally but it obviously hadn't been used in years and was a liability.

hulls primed!

hulls primed!

This is what Tie Fighter looked like primed with the military gray paint.  I loved the way she looked, and if it were possible I would have left her this way - the problem is that as a wooden boat, she has to be painted white.  Anything darker absorbs heat, and causes the wood hull to expand and contract, which will eventually cause the fiberglass to separate from the hull.  If that happens, moisture (via condensation) will form between the fiberglass and the wood, and eventually the whole boat will rot from the inside out.  So yeah.  White.

Pity though!  I wished I could have just painted a big white number on the side and left her this way - she'd look like a Canadian warship!

head and forward locker painted

head and forward locker painted

While she was up on the hard I might as well use some of the extra epoxy paint to update the insides... here's the head, prior to ripping out the toilet, pedestal, floor and... well, everything really.  The head is much nicer now, as you'll see in later photos...

topsides primed

topsides primed

After the first coat of primer went on, the whole boat had to be sanded again and wiped down with solvents before the second coat..  Those sanders went through hell and back, and the solvent fumes made us dizzy and melted several pairs of rubber gloves.

In the background you can see that it's garbage day in the boatyard; all the dumpsters are being lined up right across from Tie Fighter, so that the garbage trucks could spend an hour making a huge racket at 5am.  By August we didn't even hear them anymore - after long hard days in the sun, sleep was deep.

James rolling and tipping in the dark

James rolling and tipping in the dark

Once the second coat of primer was on and sanded, it was time to put on the first coat of the finish paint, Interlux 'Brightside' white.  The paint is a single-part polyurethane - which we now know isn't a good thing to put over top of a two-part primer (ie, paint that comes in two cans, a base and an 'activator', which need to be mixed together before application).  Brightside gives a very professional-looking finish when "rolled and tipped"; first the paint is applied with a roller, and then you lightly brush over it with a foam brush to knock out all the tiny bubbles, leaving a sexy, glossy finish.  When we finally figured out how to do it properly we worked long into the night painting the hulls, fighting off the swarms of mosquitoes from the nearby swamps that showed up every night as soon as the sun went down.

Tie Fighter, white!

Tie Fighter, white!

Within a couple of days, the whole boat was shiny and white.  At this point, however, catastrophe struck - the paint on the bottom and hull was drying properly, but the topsides didn't seem to be drying at all!

I don't have clear memories of the next few days - I do remember being brought closer to tears of frustration than I have been in many years.  Dark times indeed.

At least the paint on the hull sides and bottom seemed to be drying properly... the primer used there had been a two-part epoxy primer by Interlux, but the topside primer was a two-part epoxy from a different company, and as far as we could tell it didn't dry the same as the paint on the bottom, and the off-gassing of the primer drying caused "solvent entrapment", causing the Brightside to still be tacky three days after application.

topsides, sanded down again

topsides, sanded down again

We had no choice but to sand all the new white paint off and start over from the primer again.  Two more solid days of sanding nonstop, and we were back to square one.  Sanding gummy, partly-dried paint is way more work than sanding old, dried paint, and we went through hundreds of sanding discs.

forward bilges, epoxy paint drying

forward bilges, epoxy paint drying

Since there were three of us sanding, but only two sanders, we took the time to gut the bilges in the forward cabin and apply a couple of coats of thick, tough Interlux 'BilgeCote' epoxy paint.  Wow - the bilges went from a dark, dirty, scary gutter to a reasonably nice place for extra storage!

hatches drying in the sun

hatch covers drying in the sun

I had nearly forgotten about the hatch covers - all of them needed minor repairs, a good sanding and several coats of paint.  A few days of work and they were shiny and new again.

In the background is James' tent, which he lived out of for several weeks.

topsides white

topsides white

FINALLY, the topsides were painted again - it took far longer than expected, and I got my first sunburn of the summer, working 14-hour days trying to get this goddamned project finished and back in the water!

In this photo you can see the repairs to the front window evident, now that it's all one color; I thought I had spent enough time sanding the area, but I guess it could have used one more pass with thickened epoxy and another hour or two of sanding.

applying the BC vessel registration numbers

applying the BC vessel registration numbers

The registration numbers going on, for the first time.  The VPD would be pleased about this, since they'd fined me $100 earlier in the summer for not having them displayed.  That was my first police fine since a speeding ticket fifteen years prior!

I love how shiny the hull is in this photo!

masking tape removed

masking tape removed

When the tape finally came off, she was looking amazing!  I had many boatyard folks come over to congratulate me on the work, saying how impressed they were.  Dan, James and I had been working on her nearly every single day since the start of the summer, and it was finally starting to show.  Of course, there was still a tonne of work to be done before she could go back into the water - but at least the outside was (mostly) finished...

Tie Fighter, shiny in the sun

Tie Fighter, shiny in the sun

Ernst came out to visit and take a few pics with his fancy camera-on-a-stick rig - a long, extendable monopod with a remote trigger.  He got this shot and the next one on a beautiful sunny afternoon.

Tie Fighter, ready for intergalactic battle

Tie Fighter, ready for intergalactic battle

This is probably my favourite shot of the entire summer - she just looks so fast and smooth!  The decks are so shiny - of course, we'd still have to apply two more coats of paint yet, a couple of coats of anti-skid paint so that walking across the wet deck wouldn't result in a swim.

Kym painting the bootstripe

Kym painting the bootstripe

Kym came out and spent a few days in the boatyard to help with the work - she had some time off, and as someone who enjoys working on boats she was happy to help.  I put her to work taping off the bootstripe, a just-for-looks stripe around the base of each hull.  This was a much larger job than either of us anticipated, and taping alone took almost seven hours!

Tie Fighter, bootstriped

Tie Fighter, bootstriped

With the masking tape removed, the bootstripe looked fantastic, well worth the effort.  The Searunner Construction Manual says that a bootstripe can make the difference between a boat and a yacht.

aft cabin, workshop mode

aft cabin, workshop mode

With all the work on the outside, we had pretty much completely neglected the interior of the boat which was still completely gutted.  If I had any intention of moving back into the boat as my home there would be a lot of work to be done yet!

tearing apart the head

tearing apart the head

I found a new marine toilet - a Groco 'Model K' - on Craigslist for $200 delivered.  Given that the Model K retails for over $1000, I thought this was a great chance to upgrade my bathroom facilities, and jumped on the deal.  The new toilet was a good 10cm taller than the old one, however, and so the pedestal would have to be lowered - it was as good a time as any to rip everything out and start from scratch.

remasted!

remasted!

Once the chainplates were reinstalled and the two coats of antiskid paint were applied, it was as good a time as any to get the mast back up.  Michael Flynn took the day to come and help re-rig Tie Fighter - his help was welcomed, especially since he's a professional rigger with a tonne of sailboat experience!

up the mast!

up the mast!

Of course, re-masting the boat left a chunk of rope at the top of the mast.  Someone had to go up to retrieve it, so I tied my climbing harness into the mainsail halyard and Michael cranked me up with the main winch while Kym tailed the line.  This was the first time I'd ever been up the mast.

good riddance, work pants.

good riddance, work pants.

During that day, at some point I was pulling some line and managed to tear the entire crotch out of my work shorts.  Last year, I wrecked probably half of my wardrobe when working on the boat - this year, I decided early to designate a single pair of pants as my work pants, and I spent most of the summer in these shorts.  By the end, the legs were so thick with paint and epoxy and sweat that they were stiff, and the pants could almost stand up on their own!

fantastic pic from Ernst

a beautiful art shot from Ernst

Ernst came out again to take a few more shots of Tie Fighter - I finagled him into helping me reinstall the centerboard at this point, which was a brutal job - the centerboard trunk is approximately three meters long by two meters deep, and there's a 3cm hole in the centerboard itself which needs to match up to a pair of 3cm holes found deep in the bilge.  The process of reinstalling the centerboard is much like threading a needle, only with the needle being 100kg and needing a winch to move it.  After several hours trying, Ernst came up with the final solution which was to draw arrow lines radiating out from the centerboard's hole, and to look into the trunk with a flashlight to see the lines.  Once the lines were drawn, we had the centerboard lined up and the holding pin installed within minutes!

Scott laying the traveler

Scott laying the traveler

My brother-in-law Scott came out to help with a few of the final rigging tasks, between working and school.  Here he's lining up the bolt-holes on the traveler.

rigged and ready

rigged and ready

FINALLY, she was ready to go back into the water.  I was filled with pride - this was by far the largest and most difficult project I'd ever been a part of, much less in charge of.  I took this final photo - you can see my bicycle aboard, ready to go back to living   on the water.

lifting her up...

lifting her up...

The dinghy was lifted back up onto the deck by a friendly forklift operator, and the lifting straps were put into place...

carried across the yard...

carried across the yard...

Across the yard we went!

...and dropped back into the water!

...and dropped back into the water!

On August 24th, bright and early in the morning, Tie Fighter finally went back into the water.  Fortunately, she floated and all of the hull repairs proved to be watertight.  Unfortunately, we hadn't had a chance to do any engine work yet, and so I couldn't really do much besides motor down a few hundred meters and dock at C-dock, where I would spend the next two months continuing to repair and upgrade the inside of the boat.

the finished head!

the finished head!

At C-dock, I had time to finish the head.  Here's a shot of the toilet installed, with the holding tank plumbed and secured to a shelf with ratcheting tiedown straps.  Technically this photo is from mid-September, but I figured it would be best to include an "after" shot, given the two or three "before" pics.

As the summer came to an inevitable close, I spent a lot of time feeling bitter about the fact that I had spent the entire warm-weather months doing something that I thought would be completely finished before the summer even started.  I had really wanted to spend the summer living the Vancouver lifestyle, bouncing from beach party to afterparty, sailing as much as possible, and having a great time.  Instead it was several months of hard labour ,while paying through the nose for the privilege of doing so.  It was my friend Dan Ross who set me straight; I was complaining about the loss of the summer when he said something like

"Actually", he said, "I have to say, this has been probably the most interesting summer of my life - I've learned a tonne of new stuff, and been a part of a large project that we finished.  I can't say I have a single complaint."

I was broadsided by that statement but when I thought about it I had to agree.  It was the most interesting summer in memory, and at the end of it all I have my home to to show for it.  She still has a tonne of work to be done, but she's solid, stable and floating, and eventually she'll take  me wherever I want to go.  The weakest link in the chain is me, and that's a lesson - paid for dearly - that I'll always have.

28Dec/102

Live and Learn

If nothing else, living aboard is a constant source of new practical information.  For instance, did you know that while landing a motored zodiac on a beach in two foot breaking waves is simple and straightforward, disembarking from that same beach can be deceptively difficult?

Miya in the zodiac

Miya in the zodiac in much calmer times

The strong northwesterly winds that started early this morning had us bobbing around quite a lot, and while Miya put up a brave face for a few hours eventually it became clear that she'd be a lot more comfortable (and get more work done) on the shore.  We dressed in full foul-weather gear, bailed out the dinghy from the night before, and aside from the tricky part - getting down from the tall side-decks of Tie Fighter into a dinghy that's rising and falling almost a meter with every wave - the trip to shore went smoothly.  We gunned the throttle on the down slope of a cresting wave about three meters from shore and surfed gently onto the beach, tilting up the outboard motor on its hinge just before the blades hit the sand.

I bid Miya farewell and started to drag the zodiac into the water but the first waves met crested up and over her bow, dropping a few inches of seawater into the little boat.  I laughed it off and pushed through anyway, dipping a paddle into the water to taker her out to sea the required three or four meters so that I could start the outboard motor without the propellor hitting the sand.  To my surprise and alarm, the blade of the little collapsable paddle snapped cleanly off with my first stroke, and I watched as the plastic blade sank quickly to the bottom.  Another set of larger waves took the zodiac sideways and shorewards, and then a larger-still wave broke over the side, filling the little boat almost to the gunwales and pushing her heavily onto the sand.  I jumped out, and with Miya's help dragged her up a few feet up the beach.

They say that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over while expecting different results.  For the next ten minutes or so I must have appeared certifiable to the slowly-gathering onlookers, though I couldn't figure out any other way to get back to Tie Fighter!  Without a paddle to help take the boat out past the breakers, the timing would have to be perfect - I'd have to wait for a calm(er) set of waves, push the dinghy out just past the breaking waves, jump in, and try to get the motor started while the dinghy was still in deep enough water.  By the fourth try, I was having good luck getting out far enough, but for one reason or another the pull-start of the outboard just wasn't starting!  A dozen or so rapid pulls and the motor finally sputtered to life... just in time for the waves to push me ashore and flood the boat again.

After a fifth attempt, Miya pointed out that I'd torn the crotch completely out of my cheap yellow rain pants.  I swapped pants with Miya and gave it another shot - I pushed the little boat out as far as I could, then tried to jump in... my timing this time was poor, and a wave chose that exact moment to crest just past the dinghy, causing the undertow to drag the dinghy out from under me as I jumped.  I was now hanging on to the side of the dinghy with my legs in the ocean up to my upper thighs.  My rain gear protected me somewhat, but all I could think of was how much harder it would be to stay above if my tall rubber sailing boots were to fill with water.  I scrambled aboard as fast as I could, with the water only soaking me to my knees, dropped the propellor into the water, and pulled the starter... and it started!

I motored off the beach slowly, standing in 20cm or so of cold ocean water, soaked and feeling somewhat ridiculous.  I made my way back to the safety of Tie Fighter, and Miya watched from the beach until I climbed aboard, on the off chance the Gods of the Sea weren't done with me for the day and something else terrible happened.  It is painfully clear that whoever coined the phrase "up a creek without a paddle" - although clearly 'river folk' - was on to something, probably as a result of a bad experience.

You know what they say about experience:  it's the best way to avoid mistakes... and the only way to get experience is to make mistakes.  I'm going to chalk today's events up to "gaining experience".

27Dec/103

Christmas Winds

We've been anchored out in the Kitsilano Anchorage for two weeks or so now, and we're slowly getting used to the isolation again.  Ever since we switched to a Zodiac inflatable dinghy with a 4hp Mariner outboard, I've grown somewhat lazy about rowing to shore, and since there's nowhere to securely dock the Zodiac at Kits Beach, I've been finding reasons to avoid leaving the boat during the day.  Honestly it's not so bad, but the combination of rowing, dragging the rowboat up 150m of steep, wet sandy beach and cycling everywhere has me not particularly worried about that little extra layer of Christmas padding around my middle.

gps log for anchoring in False Creek

gps log from False Creek, December

Just before getting the boot from False Creek by the VPD, we had a really interesting night of weather, resulting in a dragged anchor and a surprised crew.    The night started off like any other cold, rainy December night, with strong winds from the east - Tie Fighter swung back and forth on her anchor line but held fast as expected.  We anchored just off the tip of Charleston Park and settled into the forward cabin for a cozy night with a laptop full of movies and the diesel furnace blazing, but after about an hour of steady rainfall and increasing winds I thought it would be best to set an anchor-drag alarm on the GPS.  Not twenty minutes later, the winds had continued to rise and the alarm went off, but we only dragged about ten meters to the west before setting firmly in place, ostensibly for the rest of the night.

About an hour later, things started to get weird.  The rain pattering on the cabin roof became noticibly noisier, but then abruptly... stopped?  Suddenly - in the span of maybe ten seconds - the wind died down to nothing, completely switched directions 180º, and started back up even stronger than before!

With the new westerly winds pushing her sideways, Tie Fighter swung around on her anchor rode and wandered to the east, uprooting her primary anchor again and resetting it pretty much immediately.  I can only assume the new anchor setting wasn't as strong as the prior, because within an hour the anchor-drag alarm was shrieking again and we were drifting east.  To the credit of the CQR-and-Fortress anchor combo, we only drifted a few feet before coming to a stop.

gps log for anchoring in the Kitsilano Anchorage, December

gps log for anchoring in Kitsilano

Anyhow, since that night we've been sitting at anchor out in Kitsilano again, and we've endured a few nights of seriously heavy winds - though nearly all of those winds have been from the northeast through the southeast, we haven't logged any winds at all from the west!  That is all about to change of course; late tonight the forecast has us seeing 15-25kn of northwesterly winds.

The water out here in Kits is a lot more active, with winds throwing up small wave systems and the passing Granville water taxis sending regular wakes our way to the tune of about two foot waves.  We bounce around a lot more - never enough to actually cause a cup of coffee to spill or anything like that, but enough that the flashlight hanging from the hook by the bed is slowly leaving a crescent-shaped black mark on the wall.  It's not much motion, but it's constant.  I quite like it, though I could certainly see how it could be a source of frustration for anyone not prepared for it.

Miya has held up admirably - we had worried that she'd have a hard time acclimatizing to the realities of living aboard a poorly-insulated sailboat in the winter, especially when she can be somewhat prone to motion sickness, but she has adapted extremely well.  Barely two months aboard, and the other day at breakfast I had to point out to her that it was cold enough in the aft cabin that we could both see our breaths - neither of us had noticed the cold at all!

Environment Canada marine weather report for Christmas

marine weather for December 22nd - 26th

Moving forward, we have a few interesting project on the go, with a new diesel furnace for the aft cabin right up in the foreground.  With any luck, all we need to do is acquire a bunch of diesel hoses and a small tank and the dampness problems we've been seeing in the aft cabin will be a thing of the past.  The shift from the large diesel cookstove in the aft cabin was a great boon to our ability to cook - the convenience and familiarity of instant-on burners and the sheer unbridled decadence of freshly-baked bread have made living aboard in December a much, much more pleasant experience - but the reality of burning propane has begun to set in.

The problem with propane is that for every liter of propane burned, a liter of water is released into the air.  Well, technically the gasses released by the combustion - one of which is apparently hydrogen - combine with the oxygen already present and create H20, which means a damp cabin.  In essence, running the propane stove every day has meant that the moisture level in the aft cabin is far higher than in the forward cabin, and that is manifesting as foggy windows, slippery soap and chocolate, and worst of all the beginnings of mold and mildew.  This really has to stop, but the only real answers are ventilation and dry heat!

Anyhow.  Things progress.  More soon.